The Elusive Art of Communication

202
204
the elusive art of communication for drug and alcohol addicts
The Elusive Art of Communication

Communication is essential to treatment. It’s the lack of honest communication that is frequently one of the biggest stumbling blocks in reaching and maintaining sobriety.

There are several reasons why a person might not communicate effectively. Sadly, one of the most common reasons is a by-product of addiction itself. Let’s examine an addict entering treatment. She’s hit rock bottom and wants to end the cycle of abuse. Her nerves are shot, her ego is fragile and she probably hasn’t had a restful night’s sleep for longer than she can remember. She’s a wreck. Now, she deeply wants to please her family, her therapists, and even her fellow addicts, so much so that she will tell them whatever they want to hear, even if deep down inside her soul is screaming otherwise.

theelusiveartofcommunication
theelusiveartofcommunication

I recently came across a 2017 article in the Atlantic Magazine, “What Your Therapist Doesn’t Know,” written by Tony Rousmaniere, a leading psychotherapist. In the article, the author described a situation with a patient, who was struggling with suicidal thoughts and who, for all intents and purposes, seemed to be improving. However, after reviewing results from a recent survey completed by the patient, a predictive program indicated a near-emergency situation. The therapist was skeptical but decided to more actively engage the patient in the next session.

As the therapist probed, the patient opened up, saying, “I’m sorry, but I think I’m worse. I just don’t want you to think it’s your fault; it’s mine.”

This article reinforced a study from Western Journal of Emergency Medicine I read about in the latest US Surgeon General’s report on addiction. People “were found to be significantly more likely to disclose their substance use at a kiosk compared to a health care professional or other interviewer.” In other words, they are more likely to open up to a nameless, faceless computer than they are to another human being.

Thankfully, in the instance shared in this article, the therapist was openminded enough to delve more deeply. The therapist and his patient began to communicate with one another, and it saved the patient’s life.

This problem was further illuminated in the Atlantic Magazine article. In a typical psychotherapy environment, it’s been proven over time that around 8% of patients will get worse. However, in one study involving 48 therapists with several hundred clients, the therapists predicted that only three of these patients would deteriorate. The study findings revealed that over 7% of the patients (over 40 out of 600) actually experienced a decline. That was considerably more than predicted. Why?

One explanation could be the therapists’ overestimation of their personal abilities. It seems more likely, though, that the greater cause was the patients’ desire to please their caregivers, to the point of fooling them into unrealistic expectations. Once again, this block to open communication prevented them from getting the benefit of treatment.

The essence of the issue is as follows: when are we truly willing to say exactly what’s on our mind? Most of us typically hedge our replies or simply stay silent to avoid uncomfortable subjects and circumstances. Those defense mechanisms are counterproductive in addiction treatment. You can’t merely follow the program by rote and expect an effective long-term impact.

What do you mean? You might wonder. I followed all the rules. I did one-on-one sessions with my therapist, I attended group meetings and even went to AA/NA when I finished treatment. I participated, I did what everyone said. What do you mean I wasn’t communicating?  

You need to get involved. Communication requires a connection, taking things to heart, actively embracing ideas and concepts. If you’re not improving, then speak up. If you feel like you want to use, let someone know. That’s what therapists need to know. We’re only human, and through the entire treatment, we are an everchanging work in progress.

Which now brings us to, well, us. Are you or a loved one struggling in recovery? Are you in mid-therapy or just about to start? If so, now is the time to re-examine the treatment process.

Go in willing to expose your soul and your deepest, darkest secrets. It’s a safe environment. You need to actively listen to what everyone else has to say and be brutally honest with yourself and others (without being hurtful, of course). You need to let therapists know exactly how and what you’re feeling despite treatment, including if you are angry, in distress, or at the end of your rope.

Finally, ask questions and admit when you don’t understand. The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask. Therapists aren’t mind readers. They need you fully involved in your own treatment. With the “art of communication” in place, you will be better prepared to succeed in your long-lasting recovery.

Gilbert J. Fiorentino, JD founded TigerDirect, which, with the acquisition of CompUSA and Circuit City, grew to nearly $4 billion in sales worldwide, as part of a NYSE company. He is a philanthropist, former adjunct professor of business law at the University of Miami and has undergone over 600 hours of drug and alcohol addiction treatment in federal prison, where he is serving a sentence for failing to report his full income while CEO of TigerDirect. He has spent the last five years reading, writing and becoming a spokesman in the battle against addiction.

Help and support is within reach for you or a loved one battling addiction. Explore InRecovery’s national addiction treatment center directory now.
national addiction treatment center database

202 COMMENTS

  1. Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this site. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s tough to get that “perfect balance” between superb usability and appearance. I must say that you’ve done a amazing job with this. In addition, the blog loads very fast for me on Safari. Exceptional Blog!

  2. You are completely right. I really liked reading this and I will certainly get back for more as soon as possible. My own internet site is on the subject of upvc windows styles and designs, you can take a glance if you happen to be interested in this.

  3. The core of your writing while sounding agreeable initially, did not work very well with me personally after some time. Someplace within the sentences you were able to make me a believer but just for a very short while. I however have a problem with your jumps in assumptions and one would do nicely to fill in those gaps. If you can accomplish that, I could surely end up being impressed.

  4. I will immediately snatch your rss as I can’t to find your email subscription link or newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly let me recognize so that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  5. Just desire to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity in your post is just excellent and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission allow me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please carry on the rewarding work.

  6. I’m seriously enjoying the theme of your blog. Do you run into any browser interface issues? A number of my blog audience have lamented about my real twitter followers website not operating appropriately in Explorer yet seems great in Chrome. Are there any kind of tips to aid fix the situation?

  7. Our LGV (Large Goods Vehicle) HGV training is based in East London, and our LGV/ HGV courses are taught by qualified DVSA LGV & HGV trainers. LGV was formerly known as HGV, where it used to be referred to as HGV Class 2 (now called LGV Category C) and HGV class 1 (Now called LGV Category C+E).

  8. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa? My site discusses a lot of the same subjects as yours and I believe we could greatly benefit from each other. If you’re interested feel free to shoot me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Awesome blog by the way!

  9. I’m definitely enjoying the theme/design of your information site. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility troubles? A number of my website readers have complained regarding my lawn mower site not operating appropriately in Explorer yet looks fantastic in Opera. Are there any kind of recommendations to aid repair this issue?

  10. Excellent blog here! Also your website loads up very fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my website loaded up as fast as yours lol

  11. I’m intrigued to learn what site platform you’re working with? I am experiencing a few minor safety challenges with the most recent blog dealing with canon printer scanner so I’d like to find a thing more safe. Are there any solutions?

  12. My partner and I definitely love your website and find nearly all of the blogposts to be what precisely I am trying to find. Do you offer other people to post articles for you? I wouldn’t mind composing an article about global freight forwarder or perhaps on some of the things you’re posting about on this page. Nice website!

  13. Thank you so much for this wonderful content! I seriously enjoyed learning about.I will make sure to save the website and definitely will return later on. I would like to suggest you to ultimately keep on with the excellent writing, perhaps talk about shipping options too, have a fantastic day!

  14. Greetings from Carolina! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to browse your website on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the info you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how fast your blog loaded on my phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, awesome site!

  15. I really love your blog and find many of your blog posts to be precisely what I’m interested in. Would you offer guest writers to post material for you? I wouldn’t mind publishing a post relating to movies or even on a lot of the subjects you’re writing about on this website. Again, awesome information site!

  16. I am often to blogging and i really appreciate your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your website and hold checking for brand new information.

  17. You are absolutely correct. I really enjoyed looking through this and I will certainly return for more as soon as possible. Our website is on the subject of online movies, you could check it out if you happen to be still interested in that.

  18. Aw, this was a really nice post. In idea I would like to put in writing like this additionally – taking time and actual effort to make a very good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and on no account seem to get something done.

  19. “I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I’m no longer positive whether or not this publish is written by way of him as no one else recognize such distinct about my difficulty. You’re wonderful! Thanks!”

  20. There are certainly amazing developments on the style of this website, I definitely like it. Mine is dealing with wealth generators and presently there are plenty of things to do, I’m currently a rookie in website design. Thanks!

  21. It was actually amazing reading this info and I believe you are totally correct. Inform me in the event that you’re considering real followers, that’s my main competency. I hope to check back with you in the near future, bye for now!

  22. I wanted to send you a very small observation so as to thank you very much as before just for the beautiful guidelines you have discussed on this site. It is so extremely open-handed with you to supply unhampered exactly what some people could have offered as an ebook to earn some cash for their own end, certainly considering the fact that you could have done it if you ever considered necessary. The solutions also acted to become fantastic way to fully grasp most people have a similar interest much like my personal own to figure out more with regards to this matter. I believe there are thousands of more pleasant times in the future for individuals who see your website.

  23. Al Hadi AC Refrigration and Repairing is committed to giving your ACs a new lease of life. We have a team of experienced professionals which has serviced more than a 1000 units, much to the satisfaction of our clients. The effort at Al Hadi has always been to service a call in the shortest span of time and to close it with a happy client. The referrals we get is a testimony to our work. Try our services today!

  24. Thanks for the awesome write-up! I seriously enjoyed learning about.I will make sure to save the site and will return later on. I would really like to encourage that you continue the good writing, possibly write about real estate listings too, have a good afternoon!

  25. Howdy I’m really happy I found out your blog page, I really found you by accident, when I was searching on Aol for breathing exercises for asthma. Nonetheless I’m here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a marvelous post and the all around interesting blog (I likewise like the theme), I do not have sufficient time to read it entirely at the moment yet I have saved it and also added in the RSS feeds, so when I have plenty of time I will be returning to read a lot more. Make sure you do maintain the fantastic job.

  26. Admiring the dedication you put into your site and detailed information you provide. It’s nice to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed material. Excellent read! I’ve saved your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  27. Hey there! This is my first comment on your site so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I genuinely enjoy reading your blog posts. Can you recommend other websites which cover fitness tips? I am likewise truly interested in that thing! Appreciate it!

  28. I am really curious to understand just what site platform you have been using? I’m experiencing several minor security challenges with my latest site regarding home design plans and I’d like to find one thing far more safe. Are there any strategies?

  29. Are you tired of your ac repair in Dubai? Are you looking for Certified Professionals to carry out your ac repair with improved facilities and in an expert way?. Hot and humid conditions are not easy to tolerate, especially when you are not used to them. But, thanks to the air conditioners – living in such extreme settings can also become a pleasant experience, and more so if you are in Dubai.

  30. You’re totally right, I would love to discover a lot more on this topic! I am as well interested in microsoft excel online because I consider it is very cool right now. Keep up the good work!

  31. Thanks a lot for your amazing article! I certainly liked it.I will make certain to save your website and definitely will come back very soon. I would love to encourage you to definitely continue your excellent job, perhaps blog about small home design also, have a good afternoon!

  32. ANPC is a free nation for and by the living men and women of the earth. This Private Nation is a grassroots association based out of Indonesia having its own International Charter, Peace Treaty, Constitution, Rules of conduct and has adopted the Declaration of Human Rights. These Treaties have been Registered by International Notice to the Hague and World Court as well as other agencies worldwide. The entire goal and mission of ANPC is WORLD PEACE and freedom for all the nationals of the world, focusing on a peaceful gathering together of all tribes and nations. Our living men and women are to live as Peaceful Inhabitants on the land, striving always to create a better world today and for future generations.

  33. “Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?”

  34. I simply want to tell you that I am beginner to blogging and definitely liked this blog site. Likely I’m want to bookmark your blog post . You amazingly have really good articles and reviews. Regards for sharing your web-site.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here