The Journey From Fun to Abuse: DJ FM


One of the major misconceptions out there about people in recovery is that we hate drinking and drugs. Au contraire! We simply learned that we can’t do it responsibly. The fact of the matter is that we would never have become addicted if it all hadn’t started off being incredibly fun.

If you hang around recovery circles, you’ll hear people say, “First it was fun, then it was fun with problems, then it was just problems.” We like that expression. We get that expression. We wanted to have a column which examines that expression. And so we reached out to the most prominent recovery bloggers, writers and advocates out there to ask them about their trudge down that road.

This week, our focus is on DJ FM.

What was drinking/using like when it was fun?

For me, that depends on the time period and to be honest, the substances involved.

Early on all I did was drink (alcohol). From the beginning, it was my daily maintenance drug. Of course, it helped with social anxiety, it helped me come down after a long day at work, and gave me plenty of drunken anecdotes to have in common with my friends. I felt, for the first time, like I had a social circle, comrades. I felt included. As a musician, I was frequently playing in bars and clubs—and in the late 1990s I began DJ-ing and producing electronic music which opened me up to a whole new world.

I had my first few experiences with drugs in 1996. None of the experiences were positive or “earth-shattering.” This was later on during the first wave of “rave,” before its decline in the early 2000s. I tried Ecstasy a handful of times, with mixed results. I tried mushrooms once and had probably one of the worst drug experiences I’ve ever had. I saw friends get “dosed” (given too much of a given substance without their consent). I saw people get arrested and other people’s health in decline. And as much as I loved the electronic music of that time, I left that initial drug experiment behind after about 1998. In my mind alcohol was safe, it was legal, it was acceptable. And it always worked.

It would be nine years before I would actively begin experimenting with drugs other than alcohol again. I’d smoke marijuana from time to time, to take the edge off my many hangovers. But that was it.

Then in 2007 I found myself in a living situation with a very old friend, someone who I trusted and whose company I enjoyed. Between his interest in psychedelics and narcotics, and my excessive (read: alcoholic) drinking, I joked once that the two of us had a “cottage industry.” It was during this time that I tried Ecstasy again, and it had a profound effect on me. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a life-changing experience. It made me aware of a level of openness and communication that I didn’t know existed.

I became an evangelist for it, and got to the point where I was “rolling” every weekend. I lived for it. I was 33. Shortly thereafter I met my (now ex) girlfriend, who became my running partner. She and I would have small parties where we would invite people over to watch this video, filmed by Peter Jennings for ABC News not long before his death, and introduce our friends to the drug.

If alcohol was my day-to-day crutch, Ecstasy was my vacation from reality. It was like floating in a pool on a warm summer day, with a wonderful breeze gliding over you at precisely the right time. It was an endless sunset, experienced moment by moment. Here is a photograph I took of a sunrise at Burning Man, 2008—y first year there. I was as high (literally and figuratively) as I could possibly be at that moment. I can think of no better way to illustrate the feeling.

And of course, alcohol was always there for the comedown. As a naturally anxious person, any stimulants I added to the mix affected my anxiety. I had to have alcohol, or Xanax, or marijuana or GBL (Gamma-Butyrolactone, a lesser-known depressant which could be ordered over the internet with very little effort) to be able to roll, trip, or “candy flip”—taking Ecstasy and LSD simultaneously.

When and how did it become fun with problems?

“Fun with problems” lasted only a short while.

Hangovers were the first wave, followed by losing things—keys, wallets, credit cards. Then there were the lost memories…things I had said and done that I couldn’t remember. In the beginning these were just more anecdotes I could add to my trophy case, stupid things I could brag to my friends about and commiserate with them.

Then there were the close calls with police. A night of drinking and partying, followed by the inevitable “homing instinct” that always got me in trouble. I had to get home to my own bed. HAD to. Drunk driving was a regular occurrence—as was speeding. I managed to talk my way out of several close call DUI’s, but it was only a matter of time before I’d be caught.

Still, nothing was stopping me. I was having fun with friends. I was DJ-ing regularly in clubs and enjoying the benefits of nightlife and free booze. And like a teenager, I had no thought for the consequences of what I was doing, and no respect for what I was doing to my body.

What was it like when it was just problems?

The best way to describe that time is “unmitigated chaos.”

Once I began actively using psychedelics and Ecstasy, nothing else mattered. Jobs didn’t matter, responsibilities didn’t matter. Losing myself in that immersive, alternate reality that those substances seemed to conjure was all I cared about. The real world seemed like such a dark, unhappy place, not worth returning to.

The consequences mounted quickly. I was arrested for my first DUI in 2002, and convicted that summer. That was still just in my drinking days. But once drugs other than alcohol re-entered the picture, it took me just over two years to bring my life to a screeching halt.

In fact, it took barely three weeks. September 29, 2009 – October 19, 2009. I lost a job and was arrested for my second DUI the same day, after coming to behind the wheel of my car. Then two weeks later, I accidentally overdosed on a combination of depressants and spent almost four days in the ICU. With no insurance to cover my expenses, my medical bills were well over $18,000 in addition to legal expenses from the DUI.

The old friend whom I re-discovered drugs with, who I used with on multiple occasions, who was even the one responsible for saving my life the night I overdosed, put me in a car and dropped me off at rehab. That was two days before Thanksgiving, 2009. I was at the lowest point in my life.

How and when did life become fun again?

The process of life becoming fun again continues daily.

The first six months in early recovery were nothing but solid work. Finding housing (an Oxford House), finding a temporary job to be able to pay my medical bills (pizza delivery driver), working on the steps with a sponsor for the first time, slowly putting my life back together was my focus then. While I was living in that Oxford House, I began working on what was to become “Last Man Standing,” an album I had almost 80% complete by the time I moved out on my own again.

It was there—headphones on, volume up—that I re-discovered my love for music. It was pure joy, even though the music I was writing came from a dark, difficult place. It would be almost eight months before I would set foot inside a club again. When I finally did have the courage to take the stage again as a DJ, it was at the Hat Factory in Richmond, Virginia, in front of an audience of almost 1,500 people. It was the largest crowd I had ever played for, sober or no. It felt like a victory.

There were hard times to come—I would have to survive a relapse to make it to today. But I’m in a more peaceful, content place than I’ve ever been. My girlfriend and I have been together over two years and share our home with two cats and a dog. Collectively they bring more happiness to my life than I’ve ever known. I’m doing more with music now than I ever have. I have a network of sober friends, and am very active in recovery, both in my community and online.

It’s good to be back…and good to be here.

Jon G first began his journey in recovery from substance use in November of 2009. Under his musician alias “DJ FM,” he’s been a part of the southeast US EDM scene for close to 20 years. Not only has he DJ-ed from Baltimore to Burning Man, but as a musician he’s also performed his original electronic music with a live band, produced over 90 songs, instrumentals and remixes, and even had his original tracks used on MTVs Real World, Road Rules, The Hills and Making the Band. In 2015, he helped found the non-profit organization Rave Clean, which throws alcohol- and drug-free rave-style dance parties with donations of time, money and equipment. He also maintains his own recovery blog, My Last Stand.

Previous articleMeet the Latest Real Housewives Trainwreck: Tinsley Mortimer
Next articleThe Band of Addicted Brothers
Anna David is a New York Times-bestselling author of six books who's written for The New York Times, Time, The LA Times, Playboy, Vanity Fair and Women’s Health, among many others. She's appeared repeatedly on The Today Show, Hannity, Attack of the Show, Dr. Drew, Red Eye, The Talk and numerous other programs on Fox News, NBC, CBS, MTV, VH1 and E. She speaks at colleges across the country about relationships, addiction and recovery and is the founder of AfterPartyMagazine and as well as a former editor at The Fix. Her coaching program creates bestselling authors.


  1. Hello, I am really grateful I found this site, I basically encountered you by mistake, while I was browsing on Google for funny pick up lines. Anyways I’m here right now and would really love to say many thanks for a incredible blog post and the all round enjoyable website (I too like the design), I don’t have time to look over it completely at the minute though I have saved it and even included your RSS feeds, so whenever I have plenty of time I will be back to look over a great deal more. Please do keep up the fantastic work.

  2. I was speaking with a buddy of mine around this info and about broadband router too. I feel you made a lot of good points in this case, we are looking forward to continue reading stuff from you.

  3. Wonderful beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how could i subscribe for a blog web site? The account aided me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear concept

  4. There are great improvements on the style of this page, I certainly enjoy this. My own is relating to apk apps android market and generally there are plenty of stuff to do, I’m still a starter in internet site design. Cheers!

  5. I was suggested this website by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You’re amazing! Thanks!

  6. You’re totally right, I’d really like to know new info on the issue! I am as well captivated by vshare download free since I think it is really quite cool now. Keep this up!

  7. Hey, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, superb blog!

  8. I actually came over here via a different web address on the subject of wifi router details and thought I may as well read this. I adore what I see thus I am just following you. Getting excited about going over your website again.

  9. Our LGV (Large Goods Vehicle) HGV training is based in East London, and our LGV/ HGV courses are taught by qualified DVSA LGV & HGV trainers. LGV was formerly known as HGV, where it used to be referred to as HGV Class 2 (now called LGV Category C) and HGV class 1 (Now called LGV Category C+E).

  10. Hello there I’m so thrilled I discovered this web page, I really found you by mistake, when I was researching on Yahoo for personal injury lawyers. Anyways I am here right now and would really like to say thanks for a great write-up and the overall exciting website (I too like the theme/design), I do not have time to browse it entirely at the moment though I have saved it and also included your RSS feed, so when I have the time I’ll be returning to go through a great deal more. Please do maintain the excellent work.

  11. Hi, I am really glad I found out this blog page, I actually encountered you by error, while I was researching on Digg for where to watch movies online. Regardless I am here right now and would just enjoy to say kudos for a remarkable article and the all around impressive blog (I likewise enjoy the theme/design), I don’t have the time to read through it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and even added in your RSS feeds, so when I have the time I’ll be back to go through more. Please do keep up the fantastic job.

  12. Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any recommendations?

  13. Appreciating the time and effort you put into the site and in-depth material you present. It is great to discover a blog from time to time that isn’t the same old rehashed content. Wonderful read! I’ve bookmarked your website and I am including your RSS feeds to our mesothelioma law firm directory site.

  14. An intriguing discussion is worth comment. I think that you really should write additional on this topic, it might not be a taboo topic but usually people today aren’t enough to speak on such topics. Towards the next. Cheers

  15. I am truly loving the theme/design of your information site. Do you ever face any browser compatibility troubles? Quite a few of my own blog visitors have lamented about my emergency dentist blog not working effectively in Explorer but looks amazing in Opera. Have you got any suggestions to aid fix the matter?

  16. I am actually enjoying the design of your internet site. Do you run into any kind of browser interface situations? A few of my own blog visitors have complained regarding my websites to watch movies blog not operating properly in Explorer but appears wonderful in Safari. Are there any suggestions to aid fix this issue?

  17. Update skin, lifting wrinkles without jabs and operations is available to everyone. Chemical elements remove components of old cells. Skin quickly is updated. A face without wrinkles and signs of acne. Impressive improvement of the external appearance of the skin. Rejuvenation, lifting, removal wrinkles are guaranteed.
    Apply chemical peeling invented by German workers in the 19th century. Since then, reliability operations increased several times. Result can get and household conditions. Epidermis becomes smooth and light, without wrinkles, redness.
    chemical peel aftercare instructions

  18. I actually came over here from some other page on ios 11 jailbreak and imagined I might check this out. I quite like the things I see thus now I”m following you. Looking forward to looking over the site yet again.

  19. I am definitely loving the theme of your site. Do you ever encounter any kind of internet browser interface problems? A lot of the site audience have lamented about my forex auto trading robot blog not working correctly in Explorer yet seems awesome in Chrome. Are there any kind of recommendations to assist repair the matter?

  20. Al Hadi AC Refrigration and Repairing is committed to giving your ACs a new lease of life. We have a team of experienced professionals which has serviced more than a 1000 units, much to the satisfaction of our clients. The effort at Al Hadi has always been to service a call in the shortest span of time and to close it with a happy client. The referrals we get is a testimony to our work. Try our services today!

  21. Hello there could you inform me which platform you’re utilizing? I am looking to do my own blog on real estate courses in the near future although I’m having difficulty making a choice.

  22. Dr.Punnet and her Teams are really a great cheater in Delhi for IVF, initially they say we will provide world best technology but after getting all money they all can’t do any thing and again repeat cycle or again take money for evry cycle same money, they all are playing with the emotions of allots of couples, God will never forgive you Dr. Puneet. this is very bad clinic, this is only earning money nothing else, avoid this doctor, try in AIIMS, GANGA RAM ANY OTHER Government hospitals are better, all private IVF centre are cheaters, maainly Dr. Puneet is great cheater in Delhi.

  23. Are you tired of your ac repair in Dubai? Are you looking for Certified Professionals to carry out your ac repair with improved facilities and in an expert way?. Hot and humid conditions are not easy to tolerate, especially when you are not used to them. But, thanks to the air conditioners – living in such extreme settings can also become a pleasant experience, and more so if you are in Dubai.

  24. I personally came over here via a different website relating to conference room monitors and imagined I should check this out. I really like what I see therefore now I am following you. Looking forward to finding out about the website yet again.

  25. I personally arrived over here from some other web address on the subject of NYC ticket and imagined I might as well look at this. I like the things I see so now I am following you. Getting excited about looking over the site back again.

  26. I am truly enjoying the theme/design of your weblog. Do you ever face any internet browser interface troubles? A few of my website visitors have lamented concerning my free credit card numbers blog not operating appropriately in Explorer though seems excellent in Chrome. Do you have any recommendations to aid correct that matter?

  27. ANPC is a free nation for and by the living men and women of the earth. This Private Nation is a grassroots association based out of Indonesia having its own International Charter, Peace Treaty, Constitution, Rules of conduct and has adopted the Declaration of Human Rights. These Treaties have been Registered by International Notice to the Hague and World Court as well as other agencies worldwide. The entire goal and mission of ANPC is WORLD PEACE and freedom for all the nationals of the world, focusing on a peaceful gathering together of all tribes and nations. Our living men and women are to live as Peaceful Inhabitants on the land, striving always to create a better world today and for future generations.

  28. ANPC is a free nation for and by the living men and women of the earth. This Private Nation is a grassroots association based out of Indonesia having its own International Charter, Peace Treaty, Constitution, Rules of conduct and has adopted the Declaration of Human Rights. These Treaties have been Registered by International Notice to the Hague and World Court as well as other agencies worldwide. The entire goal and mission of ANPC is WORLD PEACE and freedom for all the nationals of the world, focusing on a peaceful gathering together of all tribes and nations. Our living men and women are to live as Peaceful Inhabitants on the land, striving always to create a better world today and for future generations.

  29. I am now not positive the place you are getting your info, however good topic. I must spend a while studying more or figuring out more. Thanks for fantastic information I used to be on the lookout for this info for my mission.

  30. I just want to tell you that I am just beginner to blogging and site-building and really savored this web page. Very likely I’m want to bookmark your site . You certainly have very good articles. Thanks for revealing your web-site.

  31. “I have been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this blog. Thank you, IВЎВ¦ll try and check back more often. How frequently you update your site?”

  32. “ItВЎВ¦s actually a cool and useful piece of info. IВЎВ¦m glad that you just shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.”

  33. Sick and tired of being bored? There’s nothing at all good to watch on TV these days. How many cat videos can you watch at YouTube? What you really want is some live adult entertainment. That’s what is all about. It’s 24/7 excitement like you’ve never seen before. Check it out and tell a friend. Something this good needs to be shared.

  34. “I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your site. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme? Superb work!”

  35. “I enjoy what you guys are up too. This sort of clever work and reporting! Keep up the fantastic works guys I’ve included you guys to my own blogroll.”

  36. “Hey there are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!”

  37. The weekend is fast approaching and that means you’ve got plenty of time to relax. Spend some of your downtime with a sexy lady. You’ll be amazed by just how much fun it can be. There are plenty of them to choose from at That site is literally loaded with babes.

  38. Weekends were made for spending time with cam girls. Not just any cam girls. The ones at are super hot. These are the girls who you drool over. Have yourself a good time with these beauties. You’ll definitely have a smile all over your face afterwards.

  39. Good one! Interesting info over here. I ‘ve spent 1 hour looking for such infos. I will also share it with some friends interested in it. Finished with the job dowe, I ‘ll visit some model Cams. Thank you!!

  40. Super! Interesting information over this website. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be much more useful than ever before.| I couldn’t refrain from commenting. I have spent 3 hours searching for such tips. I will also share it with a couple of friends interested in it. I have just bookmarked this web. Right now with the work done, I going to enjoy some model Webcams. Thank you very much!! Greetings from Europe!

  41. There are different ways to fry tomatoes, but each of them will require the hostess to spend row hours in the kitchen, so this dish is usually better correct do on weekends or for special occasions. When tomatoes are roasted, they get a deep taste and are combined with seafood, antipasto and other roasted vegetables. Moreover, they are ideally suitable for application in the baking industry, in making bread or cake with custard.
    [url=]how to can stewed tomatoes[/url]

  42. “Thank you for sharing excellent informations. Your web site is very cool. I am impressed by the details that you have on this website. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for extra articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the info I already searched everywhere and simply could not come across. What a great site.”

  43. Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after checking through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!

  44. Hello! I’ve been following your website for a while now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Atascocita Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the excellent job!

  45. A person essentially help to make seriously posts I would state. This is the first time I frequented your website page and thus far? I amazed with the research you made to make this particular publish extraordinary. Fantastic job!

  46. Hi all, here every person is sharing these know-how, thus
    it’s nice to read this website, and I used to pay a
    visit this blog all the time.

  47. I’m not sure where you’re getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for excellent info I was looking for this info for my mission.

  48. Good info! Interesting tips over this website. It is pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.| I could not resist commenting. I ‘ve spent some hours looking for such tips. I will also share it with some friends interested in it. I’ve just bookmarked this website. Now with the search done, I’ll visit some Mundial 2018 Cams. Thank you very much!! Regards from Mundial 2018!

  49. You’re in some serious need of relaxation. That’s where a site like comes in handy. You can do a whole lot of relaxing there. You’ll find plenty of fun girls to talk to. These are the hottest and most wild girls on the internet. Chat with them and have yourself a good time.

  50. You’ve been working hard lately. All that stress has got to be eating at you. Why not take a break and enjoy some cam girls? There’s plenty of them to enjoy at It’s wall to wall babes at this site. You’ll know that right away after your first visit.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here