I wanted to be a Movie Star!

46
78

Born and raised in Hollywood, movie palaces were my churches and old movie stars, my angels. When I first saw the luminescent Myrna Loy as Nora Charles open her apartment door to welcome her guests with a tray full of cocktails in The Thin Man, I said, “That’s what I want to be when I grow up!” And so it began . . .

I wanted to be a Movie Star!I’ve always loved the movies. I started the film club at my high school and later spent a summer at Northwestern University studying radio, TV and film. While working in the publicity department at the renowned Crown Publishers, I attended and graduated from film school at New York University. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my entire life: to write, work in film, be a movie star – never an actress – no, I wanted to be a movie STAR! and a studio head – I wanted it all. I was certainly headed in the right direction.

Over the years, I’ve worked at most of the major studios: Columbia, TriStar, Universal, Fox and Disney. I relished my life in the industry as I partied with my associates after work. It was the 1990s – we went out; we smoked cigarettes in the studio offices; we drank at lunch to relieve our hangovers from the night before; and we did it day after day after day.

Then I decided I was going to make documentary films. Only I didn’t. I became what we refer to in this show-business industry – a freelance worker. I spent most of my free time drinking with other freelancers like me. I started temping, which thankfully led me to be hired by Universal Studios for three marvelous years.

Then a friend of mine suggested I be hired as assistant to the producers on the Academy Award-winning What Dreams May Come starring the incomparable Robin Williams. Making that film was sheer magnificence. Production was on Treasure Island in San Francisco. We had a great crew who liked to celebrate after each and every long, shoot day. We rolled onto the set each morning to film heaven and earth; and we did it for one long, extraordinary summer.

After wrapping the film, I was hired to produce on Deepak Chopra’s early website, MyPotential.com. We had a genuinely terrific year building an innovative and progressive website – but then the dot.com bust happened in 2001, and all these potentially marvelous websites closed. I went bust with them.

At age 35, just to make ends meet, I was struggling to write articles on perfect pesto for cooking magazines while all my friends were becoming high-powered studio executives. I drank at night and was hungover during the day, unable to get my feet on the ground. By this point, I saw only darkness; I didn’t care anymore. For the first time, I understood what it meant to want to die, to actually think, If I weren’t on this planet, it wouldn’t really matter.

On August 22, 2002, after attending a friend’s birthday dinner, I was arrested for drunk driving. As I left jail the next day, I knew I couldn’t drink again. I went to my first Twelve Step meeting two days later and my life changed – forever.

When faced with my sober self for the first time, I began to learn the miracle of who I really am. I found I could manifest my true potential. I had direction and perseverance. When I was hungover, I could only hope for shots of tequila to get me through the day. When newly sober, to get through the day I found I could pick myself up by my bootstraps and just keep on walking – even when I couldn’t bear the thought of once more putting one foot in front of the other.

All my past experiences have brought me to where I am today. I keep it simple, go to at least four meetings a week, and practice prayer and meditation every day and night. My commitments at meetings and my wonderful sponsor help me keep on track. I am of service to my community and to my three sponsees, who inspire me each time we connect. I stay in action and gratitude.

In 2004, a friend from the MyPotential days asked me to join him at the award-winning production company, World of Wonder. Since then, I have worked on many marvelous projects with them and other production companies. I have remained sober and grateful.

I was a producer on the documentary, Tammy Faye: Death Defying, about the lovely Tammy Faye Bakker Messner as she battled cancer. I have produced and worked on several well-known reality series, including American Idol and the award-winning RuPaul’s Drag Race. These are documentaries – real life projects.

In addition, I started my own production and publishing company, Pictures of Los Angeles, Inc. Each week I write a blog, and have published my first novel, Miss Fancy Pants, the story of one drunken girl’s journey from darkness into light. My dreams are being realized, and I have only begun to reach my potential.

I do not in the least “regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.” My time drinking was amusing and adventurous; but in the end it was dark, and I lost my way. Today, I am grateful to share my experience, strength and hope with those walking this path with me. I am not alone. I have an amazing family and a wonderful husband who is a television editor.

We are all “free to be you and me.” We are graced with the strength to power-up, suit-up, show-up and stir-it-up. As in the movies, we create magic in recovery by turning the spotlight on and projecting our beautiful lives for all to see – The Best Picture, ever.

Alicia Gargaro-Magaña is a writer and producer in Los Angeles, California. Miss Fancy Pants is her first book with more to follow soon. Her blog may be read at aliciagargaromagana.com.

SHARE
Previous articleTruth or Dare
Next articleA Parents’ Journey out of Hell
InRecovery Magazine is the number one resource for Addicts and their Families.

46 COMMENTS

  1. You will ensure it is search so easy with your speech on the other hand to get this particular matter being basically some thing which I think I had by no means realize. It almost believes very challenging and also huge for me personally. I’m just waiting for the future create, I’m going to try and master that!

  2. You know thus significantly on the subject of this kind of topic, produced us independently trust it from countless several attitudes. It’s just like women and men are not curious until it’s something to attain along with Girl crazy! Your very own things good.. berita saham 2018 At all times maintain it way up!

  3. I really do confidence every one of the methods you could have introduced for your post. They’re just effective and may definitely operate. Nevertheless, the particular posts are so small for beginners. Could you you need to expand them a bit coming from pursuing time frame? Just publish jokowi presiden.

  4. Many thanks for another insightful website saham trading. The place otherwise may perhaps I am getting that kind of info developed in such an ideal technique? I own a task that i’m basically at this point managing about, and i have experienced the look out and about with regard to similarly info.

  5. 加強優化面部輪廓,可被身體完全吸引,能自然地修飾面部輪廓 功效可長達24個月以上 JUVEDERM的特點: 效果立即可見 非永久性 非手術性 安全有效 效果自然 JUVEDERM獲歐盟(CE)及美國及藥物管理局(FDA)認證 首先及唯一獲得FDA認證在首次療程後能維持長達一年2-4功效 新世代專員Hylacross科技為產品帶來獨特的物理特質,包括凝聚力、支撐力及柔順度 8點提升 這是一套由全球著名醫學美容醫生Dr. Maurício de Maio,以JUVÉDERM®系列透明質酸產品為基礎而研發的面部優化療程,藉著簡單程序便達致面部優化效果,不需進行手術,減低風險。 此療程會根據病人的個別情況,重點針對面部8個最常因流失膠原蛋白及彈性纖維而凹陷的位置,再依據特定的順序,從顴骨至下巴位置配合JUVÉDERM®系列的透明質酸產品進行療程,從而改善這些位置的豐盈度及滑溜度,全面性優化面部輪廓。

  6. Candy Wong: 我是自由人 #夢想的確可以當飯食 Marie Claire (HK) Edition 我是Candy Wong,曾任時裝記者13年,穩定的收入、彈性上班時間、遊走各大小時裝騷及發布會,看的接觸的都是最快最新的時尚產物,誰會想離開看似既夢幻又高尚的舒適圈?正因

  7. 通過水光療程抑制黑色素細胞生長的成分注射到真皮層,減少黑色素形成,淡化黑斑色素沉澱,從而達到美白祛斑的效果 療程特色 :可配搭多元化產品來量身訂做不同療​​程計算機化規格,操作方便,容易控制可調節進針深度,精準注射於目標的肌膚層 每針的注射劑量相等,達到均勻注射 一次平均5點注射,可縮短療程時間 採用31號細針頭,幾乎看不到入針點 降低疼痛、瘀血、腫脹及不適感 使用靈活度高,可複合式搭配針劑,量身訂製療程

  8. We appreciate you the best writeup. The idea the truth is was obviously a leisure consideration it. Peek difficult to help considerably increased flexible of your stuff! Nonetheless, what exactly is communicate?

  9. naturally much like your website however you really need to confirm the punctuational for numerous of one’s discussions. A number of options rife along with punctuational concerns we to locate the item really frustrating to make sure the truth however I’m going to undoubtedly go back once again.. vertical mixer indonesia

  10. hello!,I really like your writing very so much! percentage we keep up a correspondence more approximately your article on AOL? I require an expert on this house to unravel my problem. May be that is you! Taking a look ahead to peer you.

  11. hey there and thank you for your information – I’ve certainly picked up something new from right here. I did however expertise several technical issues using this website, since I experienced to reload the web site many times previous to I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I’m complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will very frequently affect your placement in google and can damage your quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Well I am adding this RSS to my e-mail and can look out for a lot more of your respective interesting content. Make sure you update this again soon..

  12. Chelsea will fight to finish as high as they can in the Barclays Premier League but interim manager Rafael Benitez has conceded Manchester United look set to win a 20th league crown. Rafa says United will take back the title… but Chelsea are gunning for second place

  13. Hi just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the images aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same results.

  14. Magnificent beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your site, how could i subscribe for a blog site? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear concept

  15. hey there and thank you for your info – I’ve definitely picked up something new from right here. I did however expertise some technical points using this website, since I experienced to reload the website lots of times previous to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will often affect your placement in google and can damage your quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my e-mail and could look out for a lot more of your respective exciting content. Make sure you update this again soon..

  16. I am also writing to make you be aware of of the excellent discovery my friend’s daughter went through browsing your site. She picked up many pieces, including what it’s like to have a marvelous teaching nature to let most people quite simply know chosen tortuous topics. You truly did more than her expectations. Many thanks for giving those insightful, dependable, informative and as well as fun thoughts on this topic to Janet.

  17. I wish to express my appreciation to the writer for rescuing me from this type of situation. As a result of looking out through the world wide web and getting tips which were not beneficial, I assumed my entire life was over. Being alive devoid of the strategies to the problems you’ve sorted out as a result of your main guide is a serious case, as well as the kind which might have adversely affected my entire career if I hadn’t discovered your site. Your actual talents and kindness in taking care of all the things was useful. I don’t know what I would have done if I had not come across such a step like this. I can also at this moment look forward to my future. Thank you very much for the high quality and sensible guide. I will not be reluctant to refer the website to anybody who will need tips about this matter.

  18. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely return.

  19. What i don’t understood is in truth how you’re not really a lot more smartly-favored than you might be now. You are very intelligent. You realize therefore considerably relating to this subject, produced me in my view believe it from so many numerous angles. Its like men and women don’t seem to be fascinated except it’s something to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your individual stuffs great. Always care for it up!

  20. Nice post. I learn one thing more difficult on completely different blogs everyday. It should all the time be stimulating to read content material from different writers and follow somewhat something from their store. I’d want to make use of some with the content material on my blog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll offer you a hyperlink in your net blog. Thanks for sharing.

  21. I was just searching for this information for a while. After six hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your site. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this type of informative sites in top of the list. Normally the top websites are full of garbage.

  22. I in addition to my pals came reviewing the best helpful hints from your web site and so then I had a horrible feeling I never thanked the site owner for those strategies. Those men were for this reason happy to study them and already have in truth been making the most of these things. Appreciate your really being simply accommodating and then for picking such excellent things most people are really wanting to discover. Our own honest regret for not saying thanks to earlier.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here